Tales from the Gym--Welcome to the 21st Century

I can't believe I hadn't blogged this already.

So.  I went to the gym two weeks ago and threw my back out.  I do remember blogging that.  What I didn't blog was my conversation a week later.

I saw Nike (my fav female personal trainer) talking with Dan (my fav male personal trainer) and one other guy (turns out it was Chris, the PT Director).  I wanted to let her know that my back was healing, but my new chiro had put me off heavy squats and, presumably, dead lifts for now.

Dan frowned at the news.  Nike was surprised, but understood....and Chris?  Chris said, "That's good.  You're a girl and shouldn't be lifting like that, anyway."

Dan and Nike split.  Had I not been standing in LA Fitness, I would have verbal assaulted him and, likely, kicked him quite hard.  There are no words for his chauvinistic attitude, nor is there any excuse.

I've since taken up dumbbell training which is going very well.  I've had more DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) with dumbbell training than I ever had with barbell.  Dumbbells are also humbling.  I never knew that 10lbs could be so heavy when doing curls.  I'm hoping to, someday, be doing curls with 25lbs.  Maybe higher.  We'll see.

In the meantime, I leave you with this awesome inspiration: 

New Beginnings...Now with Mutations!

I went in for my report of findings today from my chiropractor.

I discovered that the previous six years of chiropractic have made a significant difference.  But, I also learned something new about my body.

I.  Am a Mutant.

That part's actually pretty obvious given I'm a red head (genetic mutation).  What isn't obvious is the fact that I have a prehensile, internally vestigial, L6 vertebra.  

For those of you who don't know anatomy and physiology, the average human has 5 lumbar vertebrae.  

I have 6.  Six.  Plus, I have a twisted pelvis and slight scoliosis.  If my spine were completely straight, I'd probably be 5'6" or 5'7"...seriously.

So, because I have the beginnings of arthritis in my spine, slight scoliosis, and the L6...I'm not allowed to do heavy squats.  I didn't happen to mention my deadlifts, so I'm assuming I'm probably not supposed to do those, either.  At least for now.

So...dumbbells it is!  ...and a note to the Personal Training Director that when someone says, "This is hurting me," to stop and ask questions rather than say, "You just need a stronger core."

I need one less vertebra, dumb ass.

Tales from the Gym - Ouch

Yesterday was the first time I'd worked out since Friday last week.  Why?  Because my insomnia has hit (more like slammed) me head on.  But, I have goals and such and I want to make them, so I dragged my butt to the gym.  I always feel better, right?

Yeah, no.

I was in the bottom of my first 175# squat of the day when I felt my back slip and a sharp pain hit.  Thinking I'd done something wrong with my form, I went to the top, reset my position and went back down.  At the bottom of this squat, I felt and heard a POP! Not a snap, not a crack, a POP.  It was at this moment that I realized my back had tried to politely tell me it was bored and hadn't gone out for a while; the POP was the door slamming as my back went out without me.  I'm sure there's a BRB sign somewhere....

I finished the workout, anyway.

My back hurt so much I was nearly in tears.  I decided to try a new chiropractor since the current one isn't working for me (in a very literal sense).  I got the oddest look from the nurse practitioner when I said I was at the bottom of a 175# squat.  Almost as if she were saying, "Girls shouldn't be lifting that kind of weight."  I almost dared her to tell me that....  I was ready.  But, she didn't.

So, needless to say, I shan't be doing deadlifts tomorrow...or barbell squats.  I think I will likely be switching to dumbbells and doing a full body routine...we'll see if sit ups are possible.  Hope so...need to do 'em!

Day 27 - The Whole30 Program

Today was pretty painful on the muscles.  I loved it!  I already posted my gym update for the day, so this is really about the food intake.

Doesn't help that I'm coming down with a cold or pollen-related allergies or both.  Regardless, I hate not being able to breathe.  Especially when breathing becomes integral to working out.  Sleep would have been nice, too.  I managed to snag about 15 minutes this afternoon.  It helped.  I blame the drugs.

So, here's my recap of food for the day!

RECAP

Breakfast: half a tray of Fresh & Easy rotisserie chicken breast;

2nd Breakfast: the other half of said tray;

Lunch: buffalo chicken salad, but only about half of it; 

Dinner: Piña colada cicken & confetti f'rice.  This was an experiment in allergies.  I have a pineapple allergy.  The Whole30 has had testimonials of folks who've kicked various allergies--food and otherwise--so, I figured, hey, why not!  It was TOTALLY WORTH any hives I may break out with later.

Orccon2013 Wrap Up - The Whole 30

WHAT a WEEKEND!

Holy crap!  Okay, so we remember back to Thursday when I was up til 2am, cooking.  It was so worth it.  The scotch eggs were perfect; the chili, miraculous; the chicken salad, awesome; the bacon bowls totally non-functional (but delicious!) and the pork roast amazing!

So, here was my weekend... in a recappy kinda fashion...

Friday

We got to the con right around 11:30...which was good because minor crises were going on and Ken and I were the deflectors of disasters (or, at least, I like to say we were).  I was trying to knit for the afternoon, but that didn't work because I have too many friends I only see three times a year and I like to socialize.  I honestly don't remember what we grabbed for food on Friday.  I think I had a scotch egg for lunch and I remember Ken brought me some fruit and a grilled chicken breast for dinner.  I was going to play a game at 8pm that night, but was talked into running a Pathfinder game, instead.  It was interesting...that's a good word for it.  There was a player that made me question the state and future of humanity, but I didn't think much of it...how wrong I was to not do so...

Saturday

This was Daphne day.  And Daphne was a smashing hit.  I had a ton of people tell me I was spot-on for her, too (which made me feel awesome).  I had another scotch egg, tons of fruit, some chicken salad, bacon...and this was chili night.  I ran a session of Pathfinder as Daphne and it was awesome because I had two kids at my table.  They were twitterpated to be playing with Daphne Blake!  This is part of why I cosplay.

Sunday

This was Velma day.  I, apparently, was an amazing Velma.  I also was unrecognizable as myself to even the staff who knew I was going to be dressing up as Velma.  Many of them questioned who I was.  I, again, had a scotch egg, bacon, chicken salad, fruit, etc throughout the day.  This was the slow-cooker pork day and it was mouth-gasmly awesome; especially with the salad.  We forgot garlic and it was still delicious.  I picked up a stalker this day, however; that's never awesome.

Monday

I had a scotch egg for breakfast and some bacon for lunch.  Since it was load-out day, we just went to dinner.  I had a burger with grilled onions and hot peppers (no bun, no cheese) and rather vapid steamed veggies.  And a glass of wine.  Because I played in a session today with that guy from Friday.  The one that made me question humanity.  I wanted to stab him with my pencil, so I rolled vs. Willpower and just said I needed to step away from the table for a few minutes.  Fortunately, we were nearly done with the scenario, so his death wasn't as imminent as it probably should have been.

I admit it.  We went straight to BevMo and got two bottles of the Cabernet I had with dinner.  I'll be on my second glass here after I finish this blog.  I now remember why I drink at conventions....

Halfway on The Whole30 Program

I suppose, mathematically speaking, tomorrow would be the actual half way point of the Whole30 Challenge, but, y'know what?  It's been two weeks since I started and that is just awesome.  So, how's the last two weeks been?  Here's a bit of a recap of things.

Things I'm not supposed to know...
I've lost 10 pounds.  I started with 172 (I listed it as 170, because that's what I'd say to people) and I'm at 162.  I've also lost inches.  I always pull the tape tightly because I *hate* those numbers, but lets be realistic--I'm only hurting myself when I do that.  My numbers to start were 38-33-40 and the abdomen (2" from navel) was at 38, as well.  Today, my measurements were 38-31.5-38 and 36 at the abdomen.  I admit it.  I squeed.

Things I have learned...
When they say no alcohol for 30 days, they mean it.  I had a total of 4 vodka tonics in the last 14 days.  The first two didn't do much other than taste icky; the second two plastered me and made me sick to my stomach.  Enough for me to say I'm not doing that again in the next 2 weeks.  Don't care.  Not worth that pain.

I've also learned I need to eat before my workouts.  If I don't, I just can't push the weight (HA! punny!).  I also really need to pay attention to time and eat.  Three times a day is not that difficult.  Protein! Protein! Protein!

Things that have improved...
MY SLEEP! Mostly.  I still have off nights, but for the most part, I'm falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking up semi-refreshed.

So, what did I nom on today during one of the most emotionally stressful days of my last few weeks?

RECAP
Breakfast: Chicken livers and coffee.

Lunch: The salad from last night....yum!

Dinner: Spaghetti squash spaghetti with meatballs from last night, chicken, and black olives.  I finished off the meatballs....SO YUM!

Now, I'm getting my magnesium (the powder, coconut milk, a banana and a little bit of unsweetened cocoa powder), knitting this sweater for the weekend (you can read about that kinda stuff here), and watching a movie before passing out so I can go to the gym tomorrow and be SHE-RA! 

Day 10 - The Whole30 Program

Today was craptacular.  Actually, the past two days have been craptacular.  I found out that I need my undergrad transcripts, as well, for the doctorate program I'm trying to apply to; I screwed up my bench pressing; my back's killing me; and, I found out, today, my Valentine's Day plans are pretty much null and void.

AWESOME!

So, I made a conscious choice: I chose to drink 2 vodka tonics tonight.  The good news: I had two and it took me 6 hours to finish them.  Also...I didn't like the taste.

Why did I choose this?  Honestly?  Because I had about a pot and a half of coffee so I could make it through the day without the panic/anxiety attacks becoming overwhelming.  But, the news about my Valentine's plans pushed me over my ability to cope.

Here's a recap of my (not so great) eating today:

RECAP:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, scrambled with homemade pico de gallo

Lunch: ...what is lunch?  1 orange, 3oz of chicken, 1 handful of peanuts (it's what my boss had)

Dinner: Two chicken breast fillets, roasted beets, and sauted beet greens.  And a banana.

...and a pot and a half of coffee throughout the day, plus 2 vodka tonics.

Too frustrated/hurt/upset/whatever to go make my magnesium shake, so skipping it.  The alcohol will probably help me enough.  Tomorrow's another day...and it will be so much better.  Gym day!  Squats, deads, and push presses!

Tales from the Gym

I've decided I want to start adding more than just "Here's what I ate today!" posts to this thing.  So, here's a snippet of frustration from my gym time today, as referenced here:

Dear sirs at my gym,

I am a woman. I lift weights. I've been steadily increasing my weight since November. When I say, "I need a spotter," I mean I need you to stand there and cheer me on--"Push it! Push it! You can do it! What are you made of, little penises?! CRUSH IT!" This is what a spotter does. A spotter does not stand there, grab the bar and re-rack it after one or two reps because they think I can't do it. It's HEAVY WEIGHT...it's a STRUGGLE which makes me STRONGER. I'm a caterpillar becoming a butterfly; don't break my cocoon.

Also, when I tell you the specific name of the exercise and you use a different name for the "same" exercise and show me the WORST FORM EVER and insist I do it that way, do not be surprised if I give you dirty looks and say, "No, you're wrong. Google Pendlay Rows." Stop hurting me; stop trying to disempowering me. If you don't like the fact I lift more than you....work your ass off like I do.

Love and kisses,
Me

I swear, I have gotten more "advice" from non-trainers at the gym, it could literally kill me.  I do appreciate the trainers that like to spot me just so they can have the privilege of spotting a chick benching over 100#.  I appreciate their awesome advice on form and never once have any of them told me to lighten the weight--in fact, they've told me to go heavier.

So, to all the "bros" out there that think you're badass and think that a chick can't lift... STFU.  I bet I will deadlift more than you can by the end of this year; I will hit my goal of body weight bench presses; and I will conquer the Over Head Press.  Know why?  Because I'm a Butterfly.  My wings are getting stronger and when I burst from my cocoon, you're going to be sorry.

Either that, or I'll just become Wonder Woman or Power Girl...or Lady Deadpool.  I like Lady Deadpool...