Tales from the Gym - Personal Training

I have a goal.  My goal is to be spandex-ready and worthy by Memorial Day weekend.  Specifically, May 24.  To that end, I talked to one of the trainers at my gym yesterday about personal training.

I was set up for my free consultation for this morning.  I am fairly certain the guy was trying to kill me.  I've been doing StrongLifts 5x5 since November and only recently hit plateaus in everything.  I did a 20% deload and am going to work back up from there.  

The guy who was doing my consult today, thinks I should stop SL because it's "advanced" and I need to work the smaller muscles to build them up to push through stalls, etc.  Resistance training.

But.  I like SL.  

I also like the torture he put me through today.  I, personally, think both would work nicely together to get the results I want.

We'll see if the trainer agrees.  Her name is Nike and she told me she wanted to train me.  She knows what I lift; she knows my goals.  We chat because she's awesome.  As much as I like the super-cute trainer, Daniel, I think he'd be a little distracting--though, he's pretty awesome as a bench press spotter.  Very encouraging.

Anyway.  Chris, the training director, really put me through some hardcore stuff and I discovered I have a phobia of balls.  He had me doing squats with a yoga ball and I was afraid I'd pop it (hey, I've been told I was *fat* all my life...).  Then, he wanted me to do burpees with an 8lb weighted ball.  I knew the instant I put it down, my arms would slip and I'd break something...and I just sorta stood there, staring, trying to psych myself into it.  I finally turned to him and said, "Can I not do that with this?"  He was confused and started talking about strong cores, etc.  I said, "Yeah...see...it's not my core I'm worried about...it's the fact my hands will slip off the ball and I will collapse onto it, crushing my sternum."  He laughed and handed me a set of 12lbs dumbbells...that were circular on the ends.  I put them down on the mat and stared a minute...then stood up and said, "Can I just do regular burpees?  I'd rather not roll around and really hurt myself."  Apparently, though, this fear of mine is because I don't have a strong core.  Couldn't possibly be because I have no depth perception and very little coordination...coupled with a severe lack of confidence in doing anything involving something that requires depth perception and coordination.  I digress.

There were a few exercises I just couldn't do.  Planking and lifting a 12lb dumbbell was the first...followed by the stupid weighted burpees...and ending with a step thing where you step up onto a raised platform, balance and lift the 12lbs dumbbells over your head, then step off the other side.  Remember a lack of depth perception and such?  I also have a lack of balance...and a bad knee....which gave out on the step down.

TIME TO WORK THAT KNEE!  Dear lord, I thought I was going to die...and I'm a pretty strong girl... But, then again, my left knee *is* pretty jacked up.  As is my left shoulder.  I'd really like to do things like what I did today as a supplement to my strong lifts.  Hopefully, they'll agree.

Day 24 - The Whole30

Twenty-four days into this challenge and I have found two things: 1) I have a weakness for alcohol; 2) I have a weakness for nutella.

This past week has not been the best of weeks in this challenge, but I had a couple things happen this morning that made me feel recharged and energized and believe that the "sacrifice" is worth every moment.

I have a pair of khakis that I love.  I haven't been able to wear these khakis in a long time.  Like, nearly 10 years.  I kept all my "skinny" clothes because I had this idea that I would someday fit back into a size 8.  Whereas I am not a size 8 yet, these pants weren't size 8s to being with. :)

They were, however, impossible for me to wear.  I can say with honesty and great joy that I can wear these pants again and I know that, come May, these pants will actually fit better than when I got them!

So, to recap yesterday's poor eating choices...

RECAP

*Running 2.5 miles in 30 minutes...went straight to the Farmer's Market...

Breakfast: 4egg omelet with bacon & onions and a side salad with basalmic vinegerette and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Dinner:  Herb crusted salmon with gingered bok choy.  It was delicious.  

I also had a couple Tablespoons of Nutella and a glass of Canadian whiskey and soda (as in soda water).  I need to stop sabotaging myself and just stick with the program.  It works...and I know I'll do it again--probably in April.

 

Orccon2013 Wrap Up - The Whole 30

WHAT a WEEKEND!

Holy crap!  Okay, so we remember back to Thursday when I was up til 2am, cooking.  It was so worth it.  The scotch eggs were perfect; the chili, miraculous; the chicken salad, awesome; the bacon bowls totally non-functional (but delicious!) and the pork roast amazing!

So, here was my weekend... in a recappy kinda fashion...

Friday

We got to the con right around 11:30...which was good because minor crises were going on and Ken and I were the deflectors of disasters (or, at least, I like to say we were).  I was trying to knit for the afternoon, but that didn't work because I have too many friends I only see three times a year and I like to socialize.  I honestly don't remember what we grabbed for food on Friday.  I think I had a scotch egg for lunch and I remember Ken brought me some fruit and a grilled chicken breast for dinner.  I was going to play a game at 8pm that night, but was talked into running a Pathfinder game, instead.  It was interesting...that's a good word for it.  There was a player that made me question the state and future of humanity, but I didn't think much of it...how wrong I was to not do so...

Saturday

This was Daphne day.  And Daphne was a smashing hit.  I had a ton of people tell me I was spot-on for her, too (which made me feel awesome).  I had another scotch egg, tons of fruit, some chicken salad, bacon...and this was chili night.  I ran a session of Pathfinder as Daphne and it was awesome because I had two kids at my table.  They were twitterpated to be playing with Daphne Blake!  This is part of why I cosplay.

Sunday

This was Velma day.  I, apparently, was an amazing Velma.  I also was unrecognizable as myself to even the staff who knew I was going to be dressing up as Velma.  Many of them questioned who I was.  I, again, had a scotch egg, bacon, chicken salad, fruit, etc throughout the day.  This was the slow-cooker pork day and it was mouth-gasmly awesome; especially with the salad.  We forgot garlic and it was still delicious.  I picked up a stalker this day, however; that's never awesome.

Monday

I had a scotch egg for breakfast and some bacon for lunch.  Since it was load-out day, we just went to dinner.  I had a burger with grilled onions and hot peppers (no bun, no cheese) and rather vapid steamed veggies.  And a glass of wine.  Because I played in a session today with that guy from Friday.  The one that made me question humanity.  I wanted to stab him with my pencil, so I rolled vs. Willpower and just said I needed to step away from the table for a few minutes.  Fortunately, we were nearly done with the scenario, so his death wasn't as imminent as it probably should have been.

I admit it.  We went straight to BevMo and got two bottles of the Cabernet I had with dinner.  I'll be on my second glass here after I finish this blog.  I now remember why I drink at conventions....

Day 16 - The Whole30

Today started out beautifully.  I slept in, I felt refreshed, and I had a list of things and a schedule and I knew everything was going to be great!

Went to the bank and deposited my check, taking out some cash; went to the post office to pick up the Valentine's gifts for Ken and Dave...and this is sorta where the day fell apart.

You see, I have no depth perception.  Well, I have about 17% depth perception, but that really doesn't help me.  Most of the time, I function very well and know one would know...then there are the days I fall off the sidewalk because I don't realize I'm at the curb.

Like today.

What felt like eternity, I sat on the ground uncertain if I'd actually managed to break my ankle this time.  I'm sure it was only about 5 minutes, but I had several people offering to call an ambulance for me.  Why?  It's just a sprain--and even if it's broke, the car is right there.  Save the ambulance for real emergencies.

Finally decided nothing was broken, so I got up and limped over to the car and climbed in.  We went home, got some ice packs, then went on to the rest of our errands--which seemed to double in time.  What was supposed to take 20 to 30 minutes took us 120 minutes.  And my ankle was throbbing.

Needless to say, today has not been a good eating day.

RECAP

Breakfast/Lunch: 3oz steak, 2 strips bacon, 2 eggs

Dinner: Kung Pao Chicken

It's after midnight and I'm still cooking epic food for the weekend.  This weekend is Orccon2013, the first of three cons for Strategicon.  Ken is on staff (Quartermaster) and I am on staff (Assistant-soon-to-be-Marketing Director).  We stay at the hotel for the convention to, basically, make sure everything runs smoothly.  Our hotel room has no microwave or fridge, and the restaurant is too expensive to eat at for all meals.  SO!  I'm making food.

So far, we have the base of chili, bacon cups for salads (or whatever will stay in them)...and on tap, tarragon chicken salad, and scotch eggs.  We have plans to pick up more salad stuff near the hotel, as well as a pork roast for a great slow-cooker recipe (which, we're taking both of ours).  I figure, if Dave ends up making it down for the weekend, we will have plenty of healthy food to nom on and make the rest of the con jealous of our epic nutrition!  I don't know how much recapping I'll be able to do there, but I'll do my best to let you know!  May have a "Tales from the Con" section...we'll see. :) 

Tales from the Gym - Silence is Golden

Today's episode found me at my gym, stretching.  I did a bridge type thing to stretch my low back.  Hands in reverse, I hoisted my body on to my head and just held the stretch in my back.  Upon standing, a gentleman began waving at me frantically and whispering something about pushing to lift my head off the mat.  After a few seconds, he finally signed the phrase, "I'm deaf."  To his surprise and relief, I responded with, "Oh!  OK!" and we began an awesome Zen moment of conversation (Note to self: Brush up on ASL).

I did my squat set (190#) and then went to do a new exercise: The Push Press.  I'd been struggling for weeks at 60# Overhead Presses (OHPs), and one of my fellow Lady Lifters suggested the push press to help work the muscles for regular OHPs.  I was very glad she did because I felt like a powerful princess!

...then I pinched my pinky finger whilst putting a 45# plate on my deadlift bar.  Needless to say, my deadlifts were not happening after that.  Nice purple coloring with a bit of blue and the dark red in the center... verreh lovely, indeed.

I'd eaten before I went to the gym and I really think it made a difference.  I wasn't focused on the fact my stomach hurt because it was hungry or that my muscles felt weaker because they didn't have fuel.  Instead, I was a powerful woman--a WONDER WOMAN! 

Tales from the Gym - Graduation

I have graduated.  Kind of.

I have graduated from the StrongLifts program into....I have no idea what, but I'm working on it!  Today consisted of squats, bench press, and a new exercise called a power clean.

I have learned I have no idea what I'm doing with power anythings.

But, it was fun!  I will feel that in the morning, I'm sure.  I started with my bench press today because all the squat racks were taken.  Every. Single. One.  There are six of them.  And everyone decided to hit them at the same time.  I'd finished my warm up sets for my bench press, looked to where the squat racks were and...they were all effing empty.  FRUSTRATION!

That's okay.  115# bench press!  Set one...power!  Set two...POWRAWR!  Set three.....roll of shame.  I should have re-racked at 4, but I had to try for the 5th and my arms gave out.  Just in case you were curious, 115# is really heavy--especially when you're pinned under it and everyone else is in the middle of their own sets.  I'll have some lovely bruises.  The guy on the bench next to me finished his set and looked over.  I gave him a whimper and the puppy eyes of "HELP!" and he came over and moved the weight for me.  Then offered to spot me.

We reduced my weight to 105# and he worked with me on that, then gave me some tips and we reduced again to 95# for form check.  I actually felt much better about my bench presses after working with him and he wasn't thinking I couldn't do the heavier weight because I was a girl. Probably will stick at 95-100# and watch my form for the next few cycles.

Finally did squats.  They were awesome and I felt (mostly) powerful.  Then I realized I should have been at 190# today.  Ah, well.  Next time.  My low back was really acting up...I'm seriously hoping the F/D treatments at the chiros don't mess me up.  Those suckers HURT.

Final exercise...the power clean (mine looked nothing like this).  I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.  I saw a muscle-head who was doing some pretty amazing stuff and seemed like a person who would *answer* my questions rather than tell me I couldn't do them because I was a girl.  I asked him if he was familiar with a power cleanse and how to do them.

I was not prepared for the voice.  Well.  Not so much the voice as the accent.  For the next few minutes as he explained that he wasn't sure how to answer the question because the exercise can be very dangerous for your low back (and not knowing me and my weight lifting history), all I could hear...was... THIS.  I felt badly.  Nice man...named Sergi.

I finally worked up the courage to do something similar to a power clean and was complimented at the end of my set by a guy who was just impressed that I, a girl, knew her way around the free weights.  "You don't see many girls doing those kinds of exercises.  That was just awesome."  I was at bar weight.  Where I will remain for form checks...then start gently upping the weight.  I'll keep Squats and DLs, steadily increasing til I hit 200# on each.  I may hold there, or I may drop back squats and switch to front squats or power thrusters or something.  Dunno.

Saturday will be...interesting.  Squats, DLs, and power presses.

Incidentally.  I must be doing something right.  Sergi said I had the figure most women work hard to get.  Either that, or he needs glasses.

Tales from the Gym - The Realizations...

My day started as it should--I woke up, kinda, rolled out of bed into my workout gear, rooted around for a pair (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) of socks, and the flattest sneakers I own.  Grabbed my phone and my tablet, my towel, water bottle... I was ready to crush my workout today.

Set it all up in my tablet app (LiftBook, for those interested): StrongLifts 5x5, Workout B, 180# squats, 60# OHPs, and 180# Deadlifts.  I was feeling powerful (except for those OHPs...they are my nemesis).  My squats sets went well.  I was feeling confident and on top of the world.  My OHPs were surprisingly good today...until the 4th set.  That's when I realized there were a lot of guys staring at me...and they weren't staring at my weight.  I looked down and thought, "Oh, geeze...if there is ever an exercise to make feel even *more* chesty... it's this one.  DOUBLE Ds COMIN' AT YA..."  Threw me off, because now I was focused on the fact I have boobs and my workouts are just making them bigger and everyone in the gym is noticing.  Set 4 gave me 3 reps, set 5 gave me 4.

I happily moved to my Deadlifts.  My warm up sets were great, but I only did 2 at 160# instead of my normal 3.  I think I should have done 3 because I only managed to get 3 reps at 180#. This made me very sad.  I like PRs every time I lift.  It makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something.  I don't know how to handle it when I don't hit those PRs.  Then it makes me worry that I'm losing strength while doing the Whole30 program and I start to freak out.

Of course, apparently, I base my sense of self/self-worth on my lifts.  Oh, THAT is a bad idea (Yes, I know this already)!  When I couldn't do my 5 reps at 180# on the deads, my tapes started blaring in my head.  I tried to drown them out by saying, "Oh, yeah?  I got 3 reps at 180#...and competitive dead lifters only do ONE rep at their weights! So...shut up!"  But, it just got louder.  Apparently, it is better at intimidation than I am.  :(

"So?  You have to get to those weights, first!  You can't even get to 200lbs, let alone 315lbs!  Everything everyone has ever said about you, ever, is true--you worthless excuse for a waste of air!"

Thanks, brain.  So, I went home and consoled myself with an epic Paleo breakfast (which you'll get to read about tonight).  All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not cooking tonight.  I'd burn the kitchen down in all likelihood.

Tales from the Gym

I've decided I want to start adding more than just "Here's what I ate today!" posts to this thing.  So, here's a snippet of frustration from my gym time today, as referenced here:

Dear sirs at my gym,

I am a woman. I lift weights. I've been steadily increasing my weight since November. When I say, "I need a spotter," I mean I need you to stand there and cheer me on--"Push it! Push it! You can do it! What are you made of, little penises?! CRUSH IT!" This is what a spotter does. A spotter does not stand there, grab the bar and re-rack it after one or two reps because they think I can't do it. It's HEAVY WEIGHT...it's a STRUGGLE which makes me STRONGER. I'm a caterpillar becoming a butterfly; don't break my cocoon.

Also, when I tell you the specific name of the exercise and you use a different name for the "same" exercise and show me the WORST FORM EVER and insist I do it that way, do not be surprised if I give you dirty looks and say, "No, you're wrong. Google Pendlay Rows." Stop hurting me; stop trying to disempowering me. If you don't like the fact I lift more than you....work your ass off like I do.

Love and kisses,
Me

I swear, I have gotten more "advice" from non-trainers at the gym, it could literally kill me.  I do appreciate the trainers that like to spot me just so they can have the privilege of spotting a chick benching over 100#.  I appreciate their awesome advice on form and never once have any of them told me to lighten the weight--in fact, they've told me to go heavier.

So, to all the "bros" out there that think you're badass and think that a chick can't lift... STFU.  I bet I will deadlift more than you can by the end of this year; I will hit my goal of body weight bench presses; and I will conquer the Over Head Press.  Know why?  Because I'm a Butterfly.  My wings are getting stronger and when I burst from my cocoon, you're going to be sorry.

Either that, or I'll just become Wonder Woman or Power Girl...or Lady Deadpool.  I like Lady Deadpool...